“Prosecutorial Misconduct” Would Be a Good Name for a Metal Band.

LeoAbbathFor those of you who don’t know me (most of you), I am a big metal-head. I listen to the loudest, fastest, most aggressive, non-musical music you can probably imagine. Unless you are a kindred metal-head, you would probably what I find most of what I listen to non-musical and nigh-unlistenable.

Furthermore, I’ve been playing the guitar on-and-off since maybe 5th or 6th grade. More recently it’s been “off”, simply because I have been spending a lot of time at work doing work things.

Recent events have made me really angry and frustrated in a way that I cannot adequately express through words alone.

So I am happy to announce the birth of my one-man legally-themed extreme-metal band “Prosecutorial Misconduct”. (What’s scarier than that? Well, besides maybe “prosecutorial discretion”.)

For those of you who are lucky enough to be my “friends” on Facebook, you’ve been subject to my polluting your feeds with requests for legally-themed metal song ideas. Now I’m extending the invitation to the wider internet.

I plan to release an EP in 2015. No, I am not sure when. It’s probably going to sound like blackened thrash, a bit of crossover, maybe a tinge of death metal,Β a few elements of grind, and potentially some NWOBHMΒ sprinkled in there.Β I am not great at lead guitar, to there probably aren’t going to be too many meedleys.

This is the guitar I will be playing on this album:


Yes, this is my office. Β No, those aren’t prints of 3/4 members of KISS. It’s Abbath, Dead, and Fenriz. Look them up.

I know that you’re going to complain that my guitar isn’t black, and therefore not metal. But both James Hetfield and Max Cavaleraβ€”titans of thrashβ€”played white guitars, so I won’tΒ hear that nonsense.


Max Cavalera made some great music with Sepultura from 1984-1996, until he went insane and decided to make songs with Fred Durst instead.


James Hetfield was the lead singer and rhythm guitarist of a great thrash metal band Metallica, which as far as I can tell disbanded in 1989. Then, in 1990, a band by the same name, with (most of) the same members started making adult contemporary music and doing bad covers of the pre-1990 Metallica, which are universally awful.

Now, I am asking for your help. No, I don’t want money.

I want potential song names. No, don’t give me some uninspired latin phrase like “Res Ipsa Loquitor” or “Ipso Factor”, or something stupid like “Guilty As Charged”. You’re reading this blog, so I know you’re better than that.

FourΒ song titles I am definitely using are these:

  1. Brady Violation
  2. Gavel-Smashed Face (click here if you don’t get it); and
  3. Crum Bum.

Most creative/brutal/legally themed/amusing suggestions win and get you a mention in my liner notes.

Please leave them in the comments. I will be forever grateful.

Edit: My logo is fucking awesome.

Prosecutorial Misconduct

14 Responses to “Prosecutorial Misconduct” Would Be a Good Name for a Metal Band.

  1. Anonymous says:

    How about “No Collar”?

  2. Court in a mosh
    Objection to life
    Prosecution disfigurement

  3. Jonathan Edelstein says:

    Procedural Bar.

  4. RJS says:

    corpus delecti
    negative corpus
    unindicted coejaculator
    declaration against interest

  5. JJ says:

    I always liked “In Terrorem Effect” and “Void ab Initio” as a metal band names, but maybe that’s too “Res Ipsa” for you. “Barbara Streisand Effect” maybe?

  6. Ed C. says:

    Parade of Horribles.

  7. Pete says:

    Stop Resisting!

  8. Anonymouse says:

    I think “Life Plus Cancer” would be rife with possibilities.

  9. R v Brown (pronounced correctly πŸ™‚ the subject of the case justifies it)

    Judicial Tyrannicide

    45 minutes to mass destruction

    Yep all with a British slant I’m afraid but that’s what I am.

    I have to get the album though.

  10. senpai71 says:

    Trial by Ordeal
    The Federal Speedy Trial Act of 1974
    F. Lee Bailey Rules

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