Kevin Schreiber (kevin@cleanyourname.com) is an idiot.

Thanks, Siri. Now, find me some scummy SEO marketer in New York…

After yesterday’s post, you’d think that sleezy SEO marketers would understand that we don’t want what they’re selling.

Nope.

To wit, I just got this nonsensical email today

Utilizing SEO and The Internet To Further Serve Your Clients.

In its simplest form, what I’m talking about here is online Reputation Management.  However, concentrated on two aspects of client service:

1. Juries search defendants online despite contrary orders. Add your own narratives to search results for the good of your client.

2. Post verdict PR designed to help clients move past public embarrassment.

Please call or email to set up a meeting to discuss these possibilities further.

Kevin Schreiber
Marketing Consultant
CleanYourName.com
321 West 44 Street # 808
New York, New York 10036
Phone: 330-732-5327

Oh cool, online reputation management! I need to get on that right away! Quick, let me send him an email expressing my interest:

Dear Kevin:

You mustn’t read our blog much.

Leo M. Mulvihill, Jr.

The Fishtown Lawyers 

Mulvihill & Rushie LLC

2424 East York Street, Suite 316

Philadelphia, PA 19125

phone 215.385.LAW1 (5291)

In the sage words of Pee Wee Herman: