Starbucks Lawyers – A Reunion.

The DA in court this morning looked really familiar, but I couldn’t recall why. Was it a bar association happy hour? Nah, more likely I’d just seen her in Court before, and my sleep-deprived brain was playing tricks on me.


I perked up. “Yes?”

“I knew I recognized you at the last listing. We worked at Starbucks together a while ago before I went off to college.”

And it came back to me. I was this DA’s supervisor back when I worked at Starbucks in college – seven years ago, at least. Back then we were making venti vanilla non-fat no-foam extra hot lattes for soccer moms and the idle upper-middle class. I was making sure she came to work on time and her till was balanced at the end of the shift. Now, here we were, arguing over my client’s liberty.

Two Starbucks lawyers duking it out like real attorneys.Β Brian Tannebaum would be proud.

2 Responses to Starbucks Lawyers – A Reunion.

  1. Christopher Sawyer says:

    Oh you are seriously fucking shitting me. Leo, I DEMAND that you fix me up a Triple-Venti-Skim-Capp, with cocoa sprinkles.

    • Leo M. Mulvihill, Jr. says:

      In proper Starbucks language, that’d be a triple venti nonfat cocoa sprinkles cappuccino.

      Though in my coffee snob world, a proper cappuccino should never be over 8 ounces. A 20 ounce cup is simply too big a vessel to maintain the proper 1/3:1/3:1/3 ratio of espresso, steamed milk, and microfoam.

      Note: This is one of several reasons I quit Starbucks after 5ish years. I’m a man of principle, after all.

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