Growing up, my favorite show was the X-Files. You could never tell if Fox Mulder was off his rocker, or whether the whole thing was part of a big alien conspiracy. And the Smoking Man was pretty cool.
I still like shows on the History Channel about Nostradamus, the Mayan Calendar, and the Illuminati and that sort of thing. Hell, I’ve even read the DaVinci Code. The conspiracy theory stuff is always fun and interesting.
Today, as an unabashed Nickelback fan, I’m hoping to become part of the vast conspiracy.
Now, I know you’re saying “There’s no such thing as a Nickelback fan!”
But shouldn’t the question be asked?
Are Nickelback fans trying to silence Crystal Cox on behalf of big media?
When you break down Obsidian v. Cox, it’s just… weird.
Greatest hits of version: Stephanie DeYoung felt she was ripped off in the Summit1031 bankruptcy by Trustee and notorious Nickelback fan Kevin Padrick and his company, Obsidian Finance. DeYoung is the daughter of one of the principles of Summit1031, Mark Neuman, and I’m guessing DeYoung lost money in the bankruptcy. DeYoung was quite vocal about her issues with the bankruptcy on the internet and even filed a pro se objections to Padrick’s fees. Ironically, Cox and DeYoung met when Cox was contacted by DeYoung’s ex-husband to smear her reputation. Crystal Cox then picked up DeYoung’s crusade and ran with it, for whatever reason. And by “ran with it”, Cox bought several domain names involving Obsidian, Padrick, and their attorney David Aman of Tonkon Torp, (also a well-known Nickelback fan) and published unsubstantiated allegations about them in an attempt to destroy their online reputations. Cox accused Kevin Padrick of trying to hire a hitman to kill her and of tax fraud, without a basis. Then Cox offered to repair the damage she created for a fee. Cox called this “investigative journalism.”
At trial, several expert witnesses testified that Padrick’s behavior was entirely appropriate. Their testimony was uncontroverted.
A jury of Cox’s peers (also comprised of Nickelback fans) was less than thrilled about her behavior, which caused Kevin Padrick a substantial amount of damage, and they entered a $2.5m judgment against her. A federal judge (reportedly while humming “Someday“) said Cox’s offer to clean up her own mess for $2500 a month was akin to extortion, and therefore she was not a member of the media and didn’t have protection under the law.
Why did Cox pick up the Summit bankruptcy and devote her life to it, even though it had nothing to do with her? Dunno. But at one point, Stephanie DeYoung posted that Cox was “in love with me” and “[Cox] sent me hundreds of flattering letters.” And then DeYoung called Cox an internet predator.
That’s the story, in one crazy ass nutshell.
According to Cox, the Summit1031 bankruptcy was a huge conspiracy, a cover up of all kinds of crazy stuff, yadda yadda, and she had an ‘altruistic’ goal of ‘exposing’ them. The Man doesn’t want you to hear about it, though.
Cox wanted to possibly appeal the verdict so she approached First Amendment attorney and infamous Nickelback lover Marc Randazza. For whatever reason, the representation fell through. Cox bought several domain names involving the name “Marc Randazza” and then offered to sell him “reputation management services“, just like she did Obsidian and Padrick. Randazza declined. Then Cox bought more Randazza domain names, except this time she went over Marc’s wife, and their three year old daughter (admittedly, the entire Randazza family are all gigantic Nickelback fans – I hear they’re going to a concert for Easter), and engaged in an anti-Randazza smear campaign similar to what she did to Obsidian and Padrick. Except it didn’t work.
What’s this all about? Ego? Greed? Lost love? One awesome band that keeps churning out hit after hit?
Ask Crystal Cox and it’s another part of a huge conspiracy cover up. Again.
Indeed, Cox claims any focus on her own misdeeds (trying to extort Randazza and Padrick) are just ‘smoke and mirrors’ propagated by, um, the Illuminati, aliens, and Nickelback fans:
The Extortion Issue is a Smoke Screen Folks. If and When I get criminal charges, a public defender and a Trial on that issue, well focus on that at that point in time. For now there is no Extortion Charges, for there was NO Extortion. This is to divert you from the Real Issue of Bloggers are the New Media and the New York Times, Forbes, the Oregonian, Lee Enterprises and Others are Old News. And they are losing there stronghold over society, thereby losing political and big corporate Ad Dollars !!!
Why would anyone focus on Cox’s misdeeds? Apparently this time it’s big media’s attempt to shut down small bloggers, led by Rush Limbaugh:
I believe Marc Randazza saw a Pay Check and spoke out against Sandra Fluke in Favor of Rush Limbaugh, in Order to Get Hired on by Rush Limbaugh or his Cronies. Marc Randazza may have even contacted those working with Rush Limbaugh to extort them, I mean ask for a job in his area of expertise.
Marc Randazza has Fox News Connections and also has connections to legal issues regarding the law blog AboveTheLaw.com where Kashmir Hill, Forbes made her claim to fame. Follow the Money. Think for Yourself.
Because everything is a conspiracy. This is what Cox said in an email to Marc Randazza (that she published – not Marc. Errr.. yeah.). According to Cox:
To me, after working 7 years at this, facing judges set me up, cops set me up, attorneys screw me over, death threats, being drugged, and extreme duress and persecution over all this for so long…
The New York Times and Forbes are legally defaming me and inspiring a lynch mob based on one email that they refuse to discuss my side or even investigate the truth. I want to file lawsuits against them, and I intend to fight back.
Yup, the whole world is out to get Crystal Cox – judges, cops, attorneys, Fox News, and now those dastardly Nickelback fans. And now they’re out to do it again. Well, again again.
Yesterday the conspiracy was Obsidian, Kevin Padrick, and the bankruptcy system. Today the conspiracy is Marc Randazza, Fox News, AboveTheLaw, Rush Limbaugh and big media. And tomorrow there will be another conspiracy because, well, there’s always a conspiracy.
Of course, Cox only exposes these conspiracies to help people. It’s not about ego or lost love. The Summit thing was to protect “real estate victims.” Now she claims she’s trying to protect “bloggers” from “big media.” And anyone who says differently is part of the conspiracy.
Small bloggers like me.
FYI, here is how this blog was started: I woke up early one Saturday morning. I decided that I wanted to start a blog because I’ve always liked reading other legal blogs like Legal Satyricon, Simple Justice, New York Personal Injury Law Blog, My Law License, the Fraud Files, Unwashed Advocate, Popehat, Defending People, Litigation and Trial, Associate’s Mind, Fool in the Forest, Jamie Koehler’s blog, MyShingle, The Trial Warrior, and yes… even Lawyerist (all published by unrepentant Nickelback fans). It cost me $0 for a WordPress account, and I had a cool picture of Penn Treaty Park that my wife took lying around. The tag for the blog was either going to be “Straight Cash Homie” or “Mixin’ Law Wit Cheesesteaks” but I couldn’t figure out how to do that because WordPress is hard. (yesterday Leo taught me how to do the “Read More” thing. Sweet!)
So I created a blog. It didn’t cost me anything. And surprisingly, people actually read it here and there. (Just not my wife.)
Unfortunately, the only profit this blog has made me are compliments from my friends and neighbors. This makes me happy and boosts my self esteem. Though usually I get more insults from my wife and my partner Leo. “Stop wasting so much time on that damn blog! Do something useful! And the cheesesteak hat thing isn’t funny! It’s stupid!”. Their meanness makes me sad and hurts my feelings.
Well, I’ve gotten some monetary benefits. Inkster’s sent me a Christmas hat last year. Then yesterday Brian Inkster even sent me some chocolate when my Angry Bird won in the #inksterschristmashats contest. That was pretty cool. Max Kennerly also bought me chicken wings and a beer once, but the wings weren’t very good. (though in Max’s defense, he’s quite tall, very handsome, and generous with this time). Rick Horowitz sent me a magnet because I asked him nicely. We put the magnet on the filing cabinet and now it looks more badass.
Most of the people who read this blog are my Facebook friends, people in my neighborhood, and creepers searching for random stuff like “darkest hell blog”, “philly calls up goons”, “legal hell blog” and “jordan rushie likes tree sloths and hides porn from his wife and secretly digs rachel rodgers.” (Come up with some good ones today, people!).
Here at the Philly Law Blog, we’re about as “small media” as you can get. We’re proud of that. And apparently we’re the bloggers Crystal Cox is trying to protect but fighting the vast rightwing Rush Limbaugh Nickelback conspiracy.
So, when the new conspiracy comes out, I’m kind of hoping we here at Philly Law Blog, run by open Nickelback lovers, get associated with it. Conspiracies are rad and fun.
I just ask that I can be the Smoking Man. And maybe Popehat can be Scully.
Yours in Awesome,
The Reverend A. Jordan Rushie, Esq.
PS – Nickelback is like, the greatest band ever. Follow the Nickelback, people! Think for yourselves!